i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
