That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize