My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize