there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
