I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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