dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize