the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
