im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
