I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sober January is a disaster.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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