I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
