I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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