Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
