today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
