so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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