Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
