I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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