The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
