k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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