did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
