i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
