the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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