I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
