Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize