I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
