WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
