Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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