Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
