I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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