i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize