Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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