end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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