dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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