first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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