fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
