let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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