You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
