hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
