My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
