Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
