Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
