I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
