Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
