I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
