Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Text me some of your sweat
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize