Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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