I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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