Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize