Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sorry about my life...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
