question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize