So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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