Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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