I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize