Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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