We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
