Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
