i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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