Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
