Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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