don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
