Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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