just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
